Story of Love

i may be a hopeful wanderer i may be a hopeless loser but i have dedicated my life to find her just so to lose her people ask me "why is there ever not a happy ending in your narrative?" all i can tell them right now is that happiness is nothing but relative happiness is when i first saw in her eyes the softness of her voice had made me more wise all i could come up was a smile and a polite "hello" all i felt was the ground beneath me becoming shallow i was a man with my future in my hand i could break a mountain, crush it into sand but that day, that beautiful day when we met i knew that all of my future was set it is, now, all coming to an end She still doesnt know or she still doesnt care all these thoughts are what keeping me awake please come in my life, for my sanity sake I am sitting in my cathederal on my knees praying to god to give you to me please because all i need is you to live me life in peace

Fate of my Heart

Through my eyes
All I see
The beauty you dont
Want anybody to see
You smile,
your face
Your innocence,
your grace

The room has been full
Of different names and faces
But only when you enter
I come out of my stasis

I think of you when i am awake
I think of you when i am asleep
I promised myself
I will never fall in love so deep

But no one argues with their heart
It does what it please
It can let one live in it forever
Or just let you stay in it on lease
For you, it has came out of his place
And has landed on your feet
It is upto you to decide
It would beat only if you let it beat

All i am left to do is
To stand in a corner and wait
For, After all this plays out,
to see, What will be its fate

:Ishant

Bring me back to life

floating in the sea of oblivion
darkness makes it harder to see
i dont know how long it has been
waiting for someone to put
life back in me

my face has been smiling,
laughing with you all
when my mind is on a ledge
just waiting for that final fall

concepts of love and belonging
have started to fade in my mind
but my heart has been forcing
me not to give up and be kind

whenever i am not happy
it does not mean i am sad
it is just that, in my head,
there is neither a good nor a bad

my mind, my objectiveness
is slowly creeping in my heart
i am scared one day i will wake up
and gone will be my human part

i cannot, by myself,
make myself human again
all i want is for someone
to to teach me how to smile
and give me a reason to feel pain


:Ishant

True Pursuit

Thinking and thinking
For hours in a place
About nothing in particular
No voice, no face
Things keep coming in my head
At a lightening pace
My peace is like a paraplegic
In a 100 meter race

My thoughts are like sand
I cannot hold them for long
I do not even get the time
To see them as right or wrong

All i am defined by is my vacant stare
All i am asked is that is my mind here?

I have been in constant battle
With my thoughts over years
I am afraid that one day
I will have to face my fears
Fear of consequences
Fear of disregarding them all
Fear of myself
Fear of breaking the moral wall

The only thing that keeps me sane
Is the love that i have for very few
That love i hope stays strong forever
Because this love is what i want my heart and mind to pursue

:Ishant

Running away from entropy

all the years being alone
when my heart kept beating
the time i spent running
when my wounds kept bleeding

walking away from family
walking away from a smile
wanting to get away
didnt looked back for a mile

sun kept coming up
and kept going down
i just kept crossing
town after town

what was i scared of
i kept wondering about
i had my eyes on the road
just didnt wanted a bout

nothing was too hard
nothing was too easy
all i always wanted
was to be busy

hard work, smart work
all we do to occupy our mind
you find all type of people
rude, brute, dumb or kind

if we forgo our notions
random things might change a frown
we may not need all the money
nor would be need a crown

all i can think about
is a thing called entropy
a thing that helps nature
always make a single copy

if everything here is random
why all the pain feel the same
and why in the end
there is no one taking the blame

Things I Am Scared Of

people tell their strength to others
because strength is a thing to boast
but it is sometimes good to share
things that scare you the most

i never said i am indestructable
i sometime am as fragile as a glass
i want to share some of my fears
first is that i am scared of becoming an ass

i am afraid of losing people i adore
i am scared of people sucking
our planet dry to the core

i am scared that people are losing
hope and forsaking their humanity
i am scared of people not calling
themselves as humans but a part of fraternity

i am scared of losing my memories
memories of my past, of how i came to be
waking up everyday not remembering
what things i learn and what beauty i see

i am scared of term destiny
i am scared of term fate
i am scared of being early
i am scared of being late

i am scared of fight
yet not scared of the pain
i am scared of being crazy
in a world where you are suppose to be sane

i am scared of light
people hide their faces in light
i am scared of dark
i might get along with it one night

but what i am most scared of
are courage and fear
because they can make a man
and they can break a man

Price I Paid For My Vanity

All these years on earth 

i never learnt to walk 

Spent years speaking 

but never learnt to talk 

I laughed a lot 

but never knew how to smile 

even when I disliked a person 

but still liked one's profile 

Always was at arms distance, 

I Never understood a person from near 

I never told a girl," you are perfect in my eyes, whatever you may wear"

I never thanked 

for what i had in the past

Never tried to come first

just didnt wanted to be last

All my adult life, never threw a punch,  never started a fight 

I Always hated angels but kept in check that devil on my other side 

Never was able to say 

what i really wanted to say 

Always hated God personally 

but for others i'd pray 

I Never respected my family 

Who would give their life for mine 

Who needs love, i said 

All i wanted was to shine 

But now when i am here 

all old and alone 

Now no one wants to talk to me,

Not even on the phone 

All these years later,

i found importance of humanity

by searching inside my soul 

and removing my biggest vice i.e. "My Vanity"

:Ishant

My Guardian Angel

My guardian angel, i call you

Just once show me your face

I just want to know since when

I have been living in your grace

I know someone has been

Watching over me for sometime

Because no matter how much astray i am

I always end up in the divine line

All the bad i did, all the mistakes i made 

Went away without a trace

Even when i was not up for it

I still end up winning that race 

I made few friends but 

made Many foes along the Way

You only let me see love all around

But Who hated me, you made them pay

When I felt alone, You sent a friend

When I felt confused, You gave me a sign

When I felt darkness creeping over me

You told light of the innocence to shine

I know you are here somewhere 

Watching over me in peace

I just want to meet you once

And say "thank you", show yourself please

:Ishant