Saying and Not Saying

I am walking up to you

And my heart starts to pound

I cannot hear anything else 

Only can hear my footsteps sound

I searched around inside

Gathered all the courage i need

Thought Once listen to my heart

Let's see where does it lead

I may not be what you want

But it's you my heart desire

My mind may lie to everyone

But my heart is not a liar

My heart waited for this moment for days

While my mind listed pros and con

But this time i knew it was different

This time my heart was the king not a pawn

So here i am standing in front of you

Saying everything i always wanted to say

All of a sudden i realize i am quiet

And i said everything in my mind on the way

Now i speak and what comes out is

That i am sorry, this time again

You say it is all fine and

I walk away with something called "pain"

:Ishant

How to Love?

have been alone for so long
That i have forgot how to love
I am scared that when the time comes
I will not remember feeling of love

Time is cruel but
people are more cruel
They will say anything
to make you look Like a fool

It is hard to believe
When everyone is out to get you
So when you start keeping people away 

you push all away including the loving few

Getting over lost love is hard
But getting over betrayal is harder
Just to get away from all this mess
You move from them all more farther

You start loving your own thoughts
More than the people around
The only thing that calms you
Is your own sound

So instead of one, There are
two people living inside your head
You cannot go to sleep early Because 

you talk to yourself while laying on the bed

You blame yourself for
the lack of good friends
To avoid any conversation
you avoid all new trends

But after sometime, this all
becomes a bit hard to control
Because a time comes when you find someone 

for whom you can sell your soul

Then you don't know how to tell them
Why, in front of them, your heart beats fast
When you don't know for yourself
The feeling which never, for you, last 

:Ishant